Friday, January 12, 2018

Though I walk...

11 x 14" oil on linen/birch. 2017 *

8 x 6" plein air oil on linen/birch. December 8, 2017 *

8 x 16" plein air oil on linen/birch. December 11, 2017

6 x 8" plein air oil on linen/birch. December 16, 2017

16 x 12" oil on linen/birch. 2017

9 x 12" plein air oil on linen/birch. January 8, 2018

18 x 24" oil on linen/birch. 2018

16 x 20" oil on linen/birch. 2018

These paths wind and wend through woods and fields and pastures. Across sunlit land and shadows.  Smooth ground and rough. Through thistles and weeds and brush, and through wide places and on the high ground where the wind blows cold. The little bit of snow that has fallen has settled in them and makes them stand out in the brown winter landscape.
 They are not great, important roads - nothing special - just small, insignificant ways. Tracks left from planting and harvest, and trails followed by cattle and deer.
 And me.

 I've been doing a lot of walking.

 I wish I could say I've handled loss well, but grief has surprised me with its ebb and flow, its waves that come and knock me over when I think I've gotten through the worst of it and am doing fine. There are times when the missing is so strong and the absence felt so keenly.
 I'm trying to find my footing when everything has shifted. One path has abruptly ended, so what now?
What am I doing, and what ought I to be doing, and thinking, and feeling? What is important, and what is of worth?
 Thoughts and questions, fear and fog, more foolishness than I want to admit. Trying to figure out a broken world, not able to figure out even a broken heart. Pouring it all out before the One who formed both. Putting one foot in front of the other.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

He is faithful still when I am faithless.
His peace passes understanding.
His promises are sure.
His love never fails.

Keep walking.

Stand fast in the faith,
Be brave,
Be strong,
Let all that you do be done with love.
1 Corinthians 16:13-14

1 comment:

  1. Remember Hannah "Footprints In The Sand " He will always carry you and he will never forsake you!Always
    Hannah!God loves you and always will,and the beauty of your heart has been shown through your works and the gift that he has given you.It will ALL work out my friend,and remember,Winter is in labor.....and soon will give birth to the spring!

    The"Old Man" at Whitewater